Relationship Reflection

As humans we are relational by nature, none of us has grown in a vacuum of solitude. We begin building relationships before we are even born, only at that time we did not have to actively participate. Throughout life, however, relationships come and go, wax and wane as we develop and mature.  Early playmates help us navigate youth as we strive for independence and find our place in the world, friendships develop that aid our transition from childhood to adulthood, but it is generally our families who provide the first and most lasting relationships – albeit positive or negative. Personal connections have been the driving force for me since I can remember: interaction promoting stimulation and growth, proximity supplying security, contact fulfilling intimacy and commitment translating into worthiness. Admittedly I spent many years avoiding solitude, fearing that without another person these needs would go unmet. Fortunately, though, I finally learned that until I had a healthy relationship with myself, the others would suffer.

Mother and Amanda

My mother has always been my safety net as well as my ladder. With her in my corner, the world was mine. She and I have a very special bond of friendship that transcends that of my youth and a mutual respect that allows us to live independent yet intertwined lives. One of the things I appreciate most is that for years Mother and I have made it a point to travel together (including my children usually) on at least an annual basis, almost without fail, often providing my girls with many experiences that they otherwise would have missed and reinforcing in them the importance of family and celebrating life’s simple pleasures as she did for me as a child.

I wish I could say that our relationship has always been smooth sailing, but we have experienced our share of conflict. Like most teens, I was probably more inconsiderate than I realized and as an adult I struggle to learn more positive communication skills. But, as I said – she will never give up on me which gives me power and motivation not to give up on myself.

At Renaissance Festival

My oldest daughter, Amanda, is my “little angel” (and a carbon copy in too many respects sometimes) and has a wisdom that I definitely lacked at her age (not to say she always takes her own advise, but that is a whole other story!) In this respect, she has a lot of her father in her. We enjoy each other’s company and many interests but mostly I love to talk with her. Others have recognized and supported my many talents over the years so I know how meaningful and important it is – so I do all I can to do that for her. Some talents we share, but most are hers alone which only lends to her uniqueness and beauty.

She cleans up pretty well, huh!

Joscelyn is my baby and I’m sure will be until I’m gone. Since she is still stuck in the middle of her teen years it would be irresponsible of me to say that we have a wonderful relationship, but – what the heck – we do. Sure, we fight. Of course, we disagree. We even pick on and tease each other probably more than the outside world may be comfortable with, but at the end of the day we have a closeness that will survive the test of time. The greatest challenge that I face with her is my inability to make sense of her world sometimes. She has a distinctive way of looking at life that completely escapes me most of the time, but we always tend to work it out or simply agree to disagree.

No matter what I have gotten myself into in the last twenty plus years, Terri has always been there to help me through it. Sometimes she drug me, sometimes she pushed me, but always she was there, supporting and encouraging. I often feel like our friendship is lopsided, that she gives me more than I can reciprocate but she assures me that isn’t so and even though she and I have only known each other half our lives (sounds like a lot when you say it that way!) it seems like forever and while we only see each other a few times a year, we always pick up right were we left off.  The thing I appreciate most is that she is deeply honest with me. She is the kind of friend who will tell me when I am an idiot and kick me in the pants when I need it not to mention the fact that she often "gets" Josc so she serves as my interpreter!  I think I just add a little comic relief (OK, perhaps even a sounding board) when she needs to escape her whirlwind reality.

What more is there to say, other than Christ has always been there – and will always be here.  My relationship with him began as a teen but solidified after the death of my husband. I felt His arms around me holding me up and I continue to lean on Him as I seek His will for my life. I am not one to believe in coincidence; I believe everything happens for a reason whether we understand or not. I know that He has put people and circumstances into my life that have challenged and changed me. Too often I let life get in the way of our talks and I overlook opportunities to serve Him, but He always Hears, always Forgives and Always Loves!