Communication Challenges

In general, I realize that I have significant communication struggles between myself and others, naturally dependent on the type and depth of my relationship. For the most part I am pretty much a “what you see is what you get” kind of person. Recently though I have noticed that I do sensor myself a bit more with some individuals.

For example, some of my co-workers hold religious beliefs different from my own, so I generally steer clear of topics or references that may create discomfort or agitation since I am not yet adept and these types of confrontations/interactions.

 I have mentioned in some of my other posts that I struggle with one colleague in particular who not only hails from an older generation but seems to hold a perpetual “Pollyanna” type quality that can be deceitful at times; her interpretations of situations is much different than the rest of us. So I walk the fine line between not wanting to call her on her inconsistencies and hurt her feelings and trying to maintain order in the workplace by having discussions and meeting centered around expectations and methodology.

My daughter has asked why I act differently when her boyfriend is around (I’m not really crazy about him) so I guess I don’t hide my feelings very well. I seem to become defensive when he is around, a bit closed off; as a result he is intimidated by me. I try repeatedly to establish some sort of relationship out of love for my daughter, but it is very difficult to look past my own prejudices and frustrations in order to step into his shoes and establish good communication.

Additionally, I do not like how I communicate with my mother one way, my children another, and then struggle to deal when we are all together! I just want to be myself and I feel like there are so many different expectations that I have to ping pong back and forth instead of creating a happy medium.

In an attempt to improve these and all of my relationships in regards to communication, I have started paying closer attention to the other person’s nonverbal cues and engage in more active listening. Perhaps concerning my family we will one day be able to create our own culture and interact on a level that includes everyone and meets the needs of the whole as opposed to the apparent competition for attention and respect. In general regards, I am attempting to focus outside of myself and my “norm” in order to pick up on the more subtle communication cues that I often miss as well as developing the kinds of relationships that allow me to request information that will aid in communication. I also feel like I need to continue in my efforts to become less reactive and more responsive to others.