And the Best Communicator Award goes to..

My dearest friend, Terri, has to be the most effective communicator I know. She listens attentively to whomever is speaking, is highly sensitive to non-verbal and environmental cues, and responds appropriately with whatever is needed at the time – support, advice, admonition. Terri and I met during the first semester of our secondary ed program at ASU but, according to her, I was a complete snot to her until the next term! But once we “met” and got to know each other we became fast friends; despite the distance that has separated us for years, we can still pick up where we left off every time.

I often find myself wishing I shared Terri’s gift for communication (and perhaps after this course I will have come closer). I hang up the phone and realize that I have monopolized the conversation or part ways wondering if I was as available to her as she has always been for me. Of the things that I admire the most are her abilities to stand for her convictions and to read a situation almost instantaneously. She will never give advice or support in a way that conflicts with her beliefs, and she is exceptionally aware of the surroundings and how they may potentially effect herself and others. More importantly sometimes is her amazing aptitude for picking up on cultural idiosyncrasies (no negative connotation intended) and respond sensitively without any noticeable effort at all! When we taught together my first year, I learned so much about the cultures at our schools that helped me survive an environment in which I had never before been exposed.

6164 Final Post: Hopes, Dreams, Farewells

HOPES:
It is amazing to me that Raffi has been one of my favorite children’s artists since my girls were preschoolers, yet I had never before heard his “remix” of the preamble; what an amazing commentary on how we should view children. I join him and so many others in holding this hope for our children. Thank you, Louise, for introducing me to it! 

DREAMS:
Children are our most valuable asset, they must be heard; their needs met; policies implemented demonstrating that value free from the institutional injustices plaguing our world. 

FAREWELL:The perspectives we’ve shared have helped lay a foundation on which for me to continue to build my understanding and connection with issues related to diversity and equity in children and the families we serve. I have enjoyed our discussions and knowing that I am not in this alone. As we near the final lap of our journey together I hope to have the opportunity to work with some of you again – even into our specializations. Thank you!

Memo to Staff

RE: New Family from Spain

I have just learned that a new family will soon join our program. The Zapatero family comes to us from Spain and we will soon have the pleasure and responsibility of working with their three year old daughter, Pilar.  Please familiarize yourself with a few of the cultural expectations below in order to better serve this family and create as smooth of a transition as possible for Pilar. Do not hesitate to discuss any additionally helpful information with me and, as always, as we embrace this family we will, no doubt, learn a great deal more about their expectations and how they can participate in our program.

 Ms. R

Spaniards are generally much more relaxed and may have less need for the personal space typical of Americans; physical contact during conversation is not unusual. Even a handshake may include a second hand upon the forearm or shoulder; a hug or cheek kisses are characteristic of a more established relationship (don Quijote S.L., 2012). Don’t be surprised if Pilar greets you or her friends with a kiss once she becomes comfortable in your classroom.

Spain is traditionally a patriarchal society, yet its culture is changing (Kwintessential  Ltd., n.d.). Please be aware of your interactions and take cues from the family as to the hierarchy for decision making, communication and discipline concerns. So far in my interactions with this family, the leadership responsibility seems to be equitable between both parents.

Not unlike other families we serve, trust is an essential component to conducting business. Face to face contact is the preferred form of communication, and should be non-confrontational (Kwintessential  Ltd., n.d.).That is not to say that written communications should be avoided, but this should be accompanied by an in-person conversation whenever possible.

Details are essential, generalized information may require further explanations (Kwintessential  Ltd., n.d.). Spaniards are very thorough and want to ensure that all of the bases are covered. Additionally, once an agreement has been made, both parties are bound to fulfill their end of the bargain. Expectations should be clearly stated and followed through by all parties: teachers, child, parents, and friends.

On a similar note, many Spaniards (again, not unlike others we serve) may be hesitant to express their confusion so careful attention must be given to body language, especially if the conversation is in English (Kwintessential  Ltd., n.d.). Miguel and Mari speak fairly fluent English, but this will be Pilar’s first consistent exposure. Look for signs that she may not understand what the expected behaviors are or for signs that she may be becoming frustrated. With consistent support, she will gain confidence and progress quickly.

Many other cultural aspects are somewhat familiar to us, since Spain’s cultures and traditions have been greatly influenced by Europeans (don Quijote S.L., 2012).  A great deal of the children’s literature has also been a result of European influence, including tales from the Brothers Grimm.  I have discovered one particular book that I think would be interesting to read with the children in a number of ways, Isabel Saves the Prince: Based on a True Story of Isabel I of Spain. Not only would it shed a bit of light on some Spanish history, but includes some common Spanish words, historical dress and beautiful illustrations, all of which can be expanded through numerous avenues in the classroom. (Holub, 2007)

 

don Quijote S. L. (2012). Retrieved from http://www.donquijote.org

Holub, J. (2007). Isabel saves the prince: Based on a true story of Isabel I of Spain (Ready-to-read young princesses around the world. New York. Aladdin.

Kwintessential  Ltd. (n.d.) Retrieved from http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/resources/global-etiquette/spain-country-profile.html

 

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Oppression

Nine years ago next month, life turned upside down in a matter of moments. In a volley of phone calls my world came crashing down as my husband’s lifeless body was discovered and the surreal news seeped into my heart and brain. But it wasn’t just about me – we had two young daughters who were now without their father. How would life go on? How would we survive in this world alone? It didn’t occur to me at the time to be concerned about the biases that often accompany life as a widow, nor the oppression that can result. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and seeking support wherever I could find it.  Nonetheless, one’s imagination can run wild and alternate realities take root – at times like these, Hollywood appears to make more sense in their interpretations of life’s possibilities.

In 1984 Sally Fields portrayed a widow in 1930’s Texas who was faced with loosing her homestead because an unfortunate accident left her with no husband to support the family. Banks were unwilling to loan her money, others were skeptical of her ability to provide so it would seem that she would be destined to uproot her children and leave their life. In 1985, a similar story hit the screens as Sally once again played a single mother searching for a new life for herself and her son. Even though she was a modern day divorcee in this film, the message was the same, time after time doors were closed in her face because, as she said, she had a zipper instead of a fly.

Visions of this reality circled my brain but proved to be unfounded. I felt God’s hand on my shoulder and his voice in my ear each time someone from my support system stepped up to share my burdens or lend a hand. Mercifully, my husband had planned ahead so I was not destitute as these women had been. Societal attitudes were different and single mothers were seen in a different light. My daughters and I were well rooted in our network of family and friends who never abandoned us. But still, I found inspiration in these roles; if Edna Spalding and Emma Moriarty could survive their seemingly insurmountable odds and come out on top, so could I.

Unfortunately, I look around my classroom and school and I see so many women who seem to fall prey to the societal stigmas surrounding single parenthood accompanied by poverty. True, assistance is more prominent than decades ago, but can still be difficult to attain. I am ashamed to admit that even I have had negative reactions to some of these women who come to us hoping to enroll their child(ren) in our program only to be turned away due to finances. I have allowed prejudice attitudes to creep in and taint my opinion of some of these women before I even hear about their circumstances or get to know them as individuals. But the reality of business is that money gets you in the door and in the absence of that resource effort is the next best thing – have they attempted to gain assistance prior to searching for care?  Edna explored a variety of avenues for supporting her children and home, even giving in to the pressures of those who had something to gain; Emma persisted in the face of discrimination but it took gaining the trust of a prominent citizen for the rest of the community to give her a chance and isn’t that all anyone asks for really – a chance to be who they are and reach for their goals?

                                                                                                                                                                    
Not to detract from what I have already written, but it just occurred to me that I am "victimized" frequently simply because I still have a Flip Phone!!! I receive endless microaggressions from my kids, co-workers, phone sales people and others about "why don't I join the 21st century", "come into the real world", "how can you use such an antiquated piece of equipment?"  To which I simply reply, "I am just fine with my low tech phone; it does what I need it to do, when I need it to do it!"