My Connections to Play

Play never goes anywhere... we do. We just have to find our way back from time to time.

They say that our most vivid memories are tied to extreme emotion, whether good or bad. I’d hate to think of why I have such a limited number of memories from childhood, but the few that I do have are certainly times of great joy. From birth, my grandmother’s house was the family gathering place and we did so on a regular basis. I grew up surrounded by loving, caring adults and what seemed an abundance of playmates - in actuality it was usually one to four siblings with one or two cousins added into the mix from time to time.

We spent hours upon hours playing in my grandparent’s yard: a child’s forest of huge pine trees dotted with the occasional "hicker nut" and cedar, all of which supplied us with an endless supply of needles, leaves and burrs from which we created our very own Roxaboxen. Before I was big enough to actually man a rake, I watched intently as everyone else carefully cleared paths and formed “walls” of pine needle berms forming the outlines of our playhouse. We had a wonderfully intricate cedar tree a bit like the one shown, whose branches were low and twisted that created a perfect stable for our stick horses or just a cozy place to climb and sit (even though I was probably never more than two feet off the ground, I was in heaven).

Play was simple then. We had unspoken rules that guided us and I learned from my older siblings and cousins how to create and cooperate within the context of whatever our play afforded us on any given day. There was no limit to what our imaginations could accomplish and my grandfather made sure that we had whatever we needed to expand our play; even if the sun was setting in the sky, he turned on enough lights to keep it from setting on our fun. I’m sure he must have spent hours after we were gone searching for tools that we had borrowed or raking up our “walls” creating a fresh surface for our next visit. But we knew our limits, we respected them, we thrived within them. That half-acre was our countryside, those few individuals were our community and the world was whatever we wanted it to be!

Cicada shells were our Gold/money.
Years later, my grandfather was
still finding these hidden in the
chimney clean out. Good
thing they had central heating!

These are the roots that firmly grounded me to the value and joy of shear make believe and I was diligent to make sure that my children experienced as much of that as I could provide. Granted their back yard was measured in yards instead of acreage, but we had trees to climb, grass to run barefoot through and neighborhood children to join in the work of childhood. Like me, my girls spent hours outside exploring the world and creating a new one every chance they got and like my grandfather, their dad and I were more than willing to support them in any way we could. Limits were set only by the boundaries of fences, sidewalks and streets – not by their imaginations. Fortunately, we also have a cabin in the mountains where there are fewer restrictions and practically unlimited opportunities for all kinds of play experiences. I remember one particular time that my kids returned after several hours of playing in the woods with friends, out of breath and talking so excitedly that I could hardly understand what they were jabbering about. My heart once again leapt with childish glee to hear them describing their own Roxaboxen just over the hill.

If you have not yet seen this book, it is a must read for anyone who has the gift of creating something wonderful from nothing much at all. It would be my hope that all children could have the opportunity to experience the joy of unbridled imagination, whether it is in a back yard with a rake and a stick or in their room with a couple of chairs and a sheet. I don’t recall experiencing a time when I felt like I needed to escape, but it was wonderfully reassuring to know that if I just wanted to, I could. It breaks my heart to see children who have no idea how to use their imagination and I feel blessed to be in a career that enables me to facilitate opportunities for them to develop this valuable life giving skill.

I know there have been times in my life where I held the mistaken opinion that I was too mature to “play” or times when play seemed irresponsible and frivolous but as I continue to mature and my responsibilities continue to change and increase, I find that play is what keeps me moving forward. Even though time is limited most days, I still find an innate joy in being outside, getting my hands dirty or losing myself in a book or craft. It is true that kids place a heavy load of responsibility on the adults who care for and about them but it is equally as true that if you allow yourself to be an active participant in their world, they will also keep you young.