Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

I had a very interesting conversation with my daughter’s boyfriend this week about the topic of microaggressions. I read him one or two of the scenarios from our discussion assignment and we chatted about how we would respond or how we have experienced similar events in our lives.

Alex is a personal trainer with muscles that testify to his dedication to personal fitness and exercise. I have to admit that at first glance, I was taken aback since his chest and both arms are covered in a variety of tattoos – something I don’t really understand. But once I met him and got to know him, he is an amazing young man.  I specifically asked him if he had experienced any prejudices or microaggressions because of his build or tattoos and he, of course, affirmed that he had. People initially make assumptions that his is a “dumb jock” or that he is a “gangsta”. Like me, though, Alex generally responds with a quick remark or simply lets it roll off his back.

Our discussion continued that microaggressions, which are unintentional in nature and therefore not proposed for harm, rely heavily on the context of the relationship that one shares with the other person – or “victim” as Dr. Sue puts it. I have discussed this concept with a few others who agree that the degree of offence taken is subjective to the individuals involved.

Unfortunately for the purpose of this assignment, but fortunately for my personal satisfaction, I witnessed minimal instances of microaggression this week.

Jennifer, a teacher at our school who also happens to be a quadriplegic, was being recognized for her outstanding work by a local radio station.  She was, therefore, invited to attend a presentation luncheon and was allowed to bring an administrator with her. She invited one of the assistant principals to accompany her to the event whose response was, “will your caregiver be going with us?” referring to Jen’s classroom assistant. Needless to say this was not taken in the spirit in which it was given!
 Jennifer may have limited use of her hands and little else, but she is a very independent, capable woman! I would further venture that this comment has lessened the quality of that relationship some. I have wondered from time to time, even before this course, how often I make comments to Jen that are inappropriate, but given our friendship, I believe she would say something if I hurt or demean her in any way. I do ask her to go on walks with me around the neighborhood, but how else would I say it? She has asked me to walk downtown with her – how is that different?

The only other incident that I can think of, could have been seen as a microaggression in hindsight, but certainly had no contextual intent on my part (duh, the definition). Several of the students in my club at school were leaving the classroom to take their fundraiser money to the bookstore although they had other obligations as well. I suggested that one student take the money and the other two stay in class to work on their assignment; commenting that it did not require three people to take the money down, one would do just fine. When they expressed some hesitation – primarily because they wanted to leave class and turn in the money personally – I said, “Kelly is a big girl, she can do it alone.” Now, for me, this is a common statement when speaking to children of all ages (up to and including my mother; they are not incapable humans, they can achieve any developmentally appropriate task!  In hind sight, I can see where Kelly could have, however, taken exception to the statement since she is the heaviest girl in the class. I don’t believe this was the case, especially since I did not notice any negative body language, she has known me for years, and she has heard me say that to any number of students.

This course has certainly made me more aware my words as well as those of others. Unfortunately, I see a slight hazard in being TOO concerned about how something sounds to someone else which could result in an unnecessary amount of censorship.  

Perspective...

I don't understand why it is blurry - I will try to fix it.

This project again afforded me the opportunity to solicit ideas from others within my social circles. The results were quite interesting! Most responses included many of the aspects of culture and diversity that we have been discussing in class, except for Bucky, who is a bit of a smart aleck anyway, but whose interpretations were quite interesting. Bucky defined culture as “sticking your pinkie out when drinking your beer” connoting the behaviors typically associated with the prestige and status of the upper class. He, like Alex, summed up diversity in a single word, “rainbow” or “spectrum” respectively, meaning the blending together of individual characteristics to create a coherent whole.

Aaron also expressed an interesting opinion: “from my observations a "culture" limits "diversity". the more attention given to individual "cultures" isolate or at least define them as an individual "culture" and prevent "diversity". When I hear Mexican independance day spots on the radio and the most influential and highest earning person is a 

woman of color (Oprah), I would conclude that America is pretty dang accepting and not opressive to race or gender.”

My sister Kay defined culture as the “attitudes, world views and traditions that are passed down and instilled in a particular set of people. While diversity is multiple cultures living in close proximity.” In many respects, this definition seems a bit limited and discounts the interactions and conflict that arrise due to cultural clashes such as the ones mentioned by my international contact from a previous course, Mahamadou. His response was more extensive and included the comment “your culture is like your identity” even though we all share a common home country. He also refers to the US as a “melting pot” or “salad bowl” which I find interesting since he is from Africa and makes no such reference to Mali. Unfortunately, the conflict mentioned is all too real like the ethnic war in Rwanda when one group of people express power over another to the extent of severe opression and elimination.

It is reasuring that most of the definitions were similar and there was little negativity associated with diversity in terms of prejudical statements or personal claims of superiority. I suppose, though, that may have as much to do with the saying “birds of a feather…” than anything. It makes sense that we generally associate with those who share our beliefs and values.

US RESIDENTS EVACUATED!

Press release, September 12, 2012:  

Due to the recent devastation of our nation, all residents of the United States of America will be evacuated immediately.  Many countries around the globe will grant refugee status; individuals will not, however, be permitted input into their final destination.

Residents are requested to pack lightly due to limited space on military aircraft – you may take one change of clothes and 3 small personal items. We recommend that you consider these items carefully as they may be the only surviving artifacts from your family. Subsequently, hosting countries may, upon arrival, further limit possessions if necessary.

Packing List:

My first impulse is to take my laptop or at least my tablet, since I could store photos, letters, books, etc. in a relatively small space and have the means to communicate with family. However, without knowing where I will be going I couldn’t be certain of electricity, internet access, or even an income to pay an internet provider. Therefore…

my Bible: the Word of God on which our faith is based and documentation of significant events in our family including my spiritual journey

scrapbook: documents the importance of travel and spending quality time as a family exploring

a cutting or seed from my grandmother’s plant that has been passed down through the generations and propagated in each home: to develop a peaceful environment through nature

If upon arrival at my destination two of my three items had to be surrendered, it would most definitely be a heart-wrenching event. To relinquish my only surviving possessions would, for me, mean eventual total loss since my memories are vague and without physical reminders fade quickly. Yet, I could take comfort in the knowledge that nature and peace are not confined within the roots of one plant nor are the experiences of life confined to our past exploits; these aspects can live on through my continued appreciation of the world in which I find myself.

Additionally, I find – as with so many events in my life – that this course and exercise come at an amazingly opportune time in my professional growth. Just two days ago a child was enrolled in our program who has recently moved to the United States from Spain. He speaks minimal English and my staff and I speak minimal Spanish. Fortunately, there are a few children in our program who speak at least some Spanish and many high school students who are fluent. More importantly, I am learning to see the world through his eyes and wonder how I would feel to be uprooted and transplanted into a strange world full of unfamiliarity and confusion. I know it will not take long for this child to assimilate into the culture of our class, yet I now ask myself… “at what price?”

Who Am I?

My original response to wk1assgn1

Halfway there!!

My daughter, Joscelyn, and me at the midpoint of
the PFChang's 1/2 marathon in January.

To say it has almost been a year since I began this journey makes it sound like a long time - and perhaps in some respects it is. But now I am on the downhill side as are many of my cohorts!
For those of you who have recently started - keep up the pace and you'll be crossing the finish line before you know it; for those who have almost completed the race - congratulations and I'll see you at the finish line before long.
The thing I truly look forward to, though, just like this last PFChang's, is the desire to do more once this goal has been accomplished! It never ceases to amaze me how motivating success is and I couldn't do it without all of the support of God, my family, friends, classmates and instructors.
Thanks to you all - together victory is in the air!